everytime i dreamed, my dream faded.
why is that?
i don't know.
since pre-reg and meeting that stupid guidance counsellor, my dreams faded. it just seemed like POOF. (les impossible)...and like "whatever..screw it"..but now i have no time for the "screw it"...i have to make crucial decisions that will affect me in a lifetime.like seoriuly rite now im sierosuly dotn' know wher ei watn to go what i want to do with my life..who i want to be......i didnt' find my identity. i gave up music....i don't really give a dang about science..like seriously? what am i? i am just lois. lois who wants to just be akid and never grow up. that's everyone's dream. just stay a kid and party forever. i can't even trust myself goign to university. i'll cry everynite being homesick. i can't leave my home. even goign to a sleepover..i miss my family. like a part of my heart is cracked..can't really explain taht feeling..like half of your heart got sliced whenever i think of my family. sigh* like even one nite does that to me..wut about 4 years without my family. gosh * it's gonna be a dratic change that i ahve to learn and learn to move on. cuz life is about moving on. rite? forgetting the past..and just going on and on and on.until you die =) never giving up. well i did that as soon as i saw my sched and on the first day of school aft stupid phillipson dind't let me change my sched..i think THAT affected me this entire school year....after here nonsnse. gosh* i felt so torn out i simply gave up on school. i want to start a new chapte rin my life rite now. everythign just seems so wrong.......my relationships, my life, my entire world. i feel like im' in lalaland with no life with no friends with nothing to look forward to. at the moment i dotn' give a _ about life and about my future ..ijust want to live and eat and be with my family. that's all ..no stpuid outside world. i want to remain in lalaland. sighG* christmas break SUCKS..al li iv'e been doign is no frills no frills no frills. thankfull i'm quitting toms! congratulations lois. u made the rite choice. at least i made $400 =) ahh well...shu dstop bloggin nonsense and do some bio hwk currently on page 3 ot of 133.......i shud do it noww inorder to even continue my life haha or else i'll be stuck in grd 12 forever and i'll hate that..i hate grd 12 it sucks butt. bye.
posted by lois @ 8:16 PM
